PARENTS want the very best for their children. That is never in question. But wanting the best and knowing what the best is are two different things, and in the early years of a child’s life, the impact of that difference can have consequences that are difficult to undo.
In my work with families across Pakistan, I encounter the same hesitation. Structured early learning, particularly before the age of four, is seen as optional. The child is young, the thinking goes; they are better off at home, they’ll catch up when school begins. I understand this view. I also know, after four decades in this field, that it is one of the more consequential misunderstandings parents can carry into their child’s early years.
By the age of five, most of a child’s brain development has already taken place. This is a well established neurobiological fact. Neural connections are forming at a pace that will never again be replicated across one’s lifespan. They form the blueprint for language, emotional regulation, attention, memory, and social understanding. And they do not simply develop on their own but are built through experience. A child’s developing brain is less like a clock that ticks forward on its own, and more like a garden. Leave it to chance and something will grow, but it may not be what the child needs.
Children who are cared for in loving homes surrounded by family are receiving something genuinely valuable. But affection and belonging, whilst essential are not the same as providing intentional developmental scaffolding. Home environments are relational by nature, not structured to progressively build skills like language or executive function.
A child’s developing brain is like a garden.
I have seen what quality early learning environments can do for young children. Not by pushing academics too soon (that is precisely what good early childhood practice is not) but by giving children what they actually need at this stage: consistent language exposure, guided exploration with age appropriate activities, opportunities to navigate relationships with peers, and the experience of focusing, waiting, and self-regulating. These are the foundational skills without which formal schooling becomes harder than it need be. Not because the child lacks intelligence, but because the building blocks were never put in place.
The concern that introducing children to structured environments too early might limit their creativity or interfere with natural development is valid, but only when the environment in question resembles a traditional school: performance-driven, focused on outcomes rather than process. A well-designed early childhood programme is built around play, interaction and exploration. Structure is there to encourage the child’s curiosity, not contain it. In such environments, children are frequently given more opportunities to express themselves, make choices, and solve problems than at home.
I hear many say, ‘We didn’t have any of this, and we turned out fine’. You did, but the world your child is growing into is not the one you grew up in. The cognitive, social and emotional demands of modern life are vastly different, and changing faster everyday. What was sufficient then is not sufficient now.
Early development is cumulative. Limited language exposure in the early years affects comprehension later. Delayed social learning makes group environments more difficult to navigate when eventually introduced. The capacity for focus and attention, left under-practised, becomes much harder to build once the demands of formal schooling arrive. The gaps that may form are not permanent (children are remarkably resilient) but closing them later requires considerable effort.
Not all early learning environments are equal, and parents are right to be selective. Some push academics too early; others focus on classroom management. Many lack educators trained in child development. But quality is easy to see once you know what to look for. Are the adults warm and responsive, or directive and controlling? Is play the centre of the day, or a reward after work? Do children seem secure and willing to participate? Does the day balance group time, free exploration and rest? These are signs of an environment that understands how young children actually learn.
Parents in Pakistan are increasingly asking the right questions about their children’s futures. They are investing in nutrition, health, the best schools they can find for the later years. The early years deserve the same attention if not more. We make countless decisions on behalf of our children. This is one of the most consequential.
I have never met a parent who wished they had paid less attention to their child’s early years. I have met many who wished they had paid more.
Published in Dawn, August 3rd, 2026
